Benefit, obsession and accepting "failure"

Hiya, lovelies!

Happy 21st June: today we're in the "Mountain Therapy" section, but I won't be showing you a research paper.

I've got to confess that writing this article makes me feel a bit like Berlusconi: "You're still, as always, a bunch of poor failures." And I'm a failure too. Or did I save myself in time?

At the end of the post, I'll leave you the PDF that Filippo Greco sent me - he's a great climbing instructor and a lovely bloke. A big shout out to Fil, and keep pushing on with IAMAS.

I've read and re-read this publication by Gian Piero Motti, written in 1972: "The Failures". The title immediately sparked quite a few thoughts, so I took some time to get my head around these few pages, which, as Fil says, "are for those who actually use their noggin".

Getting Started

Motti reckons some come to the mountains through a love of nature and therefore see mountaineering as a more intense and complete adventure - like a logical progression. Then some see mountaineering as a real and concrete affirmation of their being - an escape from the inability to live everyday life.

Personally, I got into mountaineering out of sheer curiosity, to find out what it's like "up there", to tread new paths and because I'm dead certain that the charm of every part of Nature, if respected, can give us a different state of mental and physical well-being. In an age where we're always connected to everything, it's also a way to find ourselves again.

We're Already Roped Up

"The important thing is to train, always and constantly", the slightest discomfort triggers a crisis "Because what matters is climbing to the limit of your abilities. What counts is (...) the desperate search for the ever more difficult". Hey, maybe you don't climb but you can relate? Watch out: high risk of obsession and failure.

Maybe you're even aware of the mistake you're making, living only for a specific activity: "Climbing, always and nothing but climbing (...) feverishly reading everything about mountaineering and forgetting the readings that can give you something real".

Emptied and disappointed, the failures carry on, they have to finish the route, close the block, and reach the summit: you decide how to apply it, but I know you've found yourself in this situation with at least something in your life. That something that at first was your "release valve" and that turned into the monster that made you lose everything else.

Catapulted by the Mind to Where It All Began

For me, as for the author, the passion for nature and adventures began in Val Grande. I still can't believe I found that very place in the writing: I find it a beautiful coincidence. I have vivid memories of the first "traditional crossing" from Malesco to Colloro, I was ten years old and my beloved Scriccy was with me. Everything was new to me, but I never pass by certain bivouacs without becoming a child again. Over the years, I've ventured into this paradise with different people and the experiences have always been extremely rewarding.

A Delirious Passion: You Can't Go On Like This

Maybe we get pulled in by someone, maybe we egg each other on. It doesn't matter: the result is that the mountaineering discipline becomes a drug. You need to hit rock bottom. Random words: twilight, voluptas dolendi.

Yeah, maybe not so random.

Hooked on mountaineering, we act rebellious towards society. Motti talks about deciding to create a mask, a copy of his person that could reflect his discomfort in everyday life. He also describes his subsequent nervous breakdown and the decision to completely abandon the mountains.

I'm thankful for a tendonitis for making me slow down: would you ever have thought someone could rejoice over pain?

accepting failure

Failing? What does that mean?

Continuing to go to the gym (or crag doesn't matter) with ridiculous pain but driven by Ego? Yes, that's a failure!

But it's equally a failure to abandon THE Mountaineering Course that I so wanted to do for psycho-physical reasons, which could have caused damage not only to myself but also to others? No. It's a courageous decision: abandoning an objective for a while to find inner peace to be able to achieve the same aim, just further down the line. I call this reacting, and I'm very grateful to two CAI instructors for supporting me. I often think of you, S. you managed to touch me deeply, B. you made me feel understood. Your experience, your tact and your emotional intelligence were of great support. Abandoning but not giving up.

On that note, I saw that the Brocchi book has come out. I noticed the myriad of possible interpretations even just of the title. As soon as I can get a copy, I'll do one of my reviews: I'm waiting, and not very patiently.

But accepting failure isn't just about putting everything on pause. It's also about creating a balanced life. Everyone has to find it in their own way, I've understood mine. I call it "4S Balance": Study - Sport; Solitude - Socialisation.

I've gone back to reading with pleasure, books of all kinds (guys, believe me when I say all kinds!), I've accepted watching TV series or films with other people (and I've swallowed the pill of not always being able to watch them in the original language), I've gone back to researching, I go out with different people and I've got back in touch with people I thought I'd lost forever. People who were there, especially during high school years, where we shared the worst emotions and supported each other. Those people matter a lot and shouldn't be lost!

As for sport, let's say I've tried everything, it's just that when the psyche works as badly as mine does, the body suffers too.

17 June 2024: official diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

I waited until this post to make it public and I'm taking advantage of the situation to give you a heads-up that the blog will change completely:

the name will change
the graphics will be minimalist
the logo will change
it will soon have a domain
the categories will be modified
there will be more space for other languages
and maybe more, those who follow will see

With this, I launch into the conclusion of Motti's text. What he wants to convey to us can be summed up in a Latin proverb that my family has been carrying on for generations, wearing it as a bracelet: "QUIDQUID AGIS PRUDENTER AGAS ET RESPICE FINEM" (Whatever you do, do it prudently and pay attention to the consequences.

And I conclude with a phrase from my grandfather that I've been using a lot lately:

"He who climbs too high, sooner or later comes down: precipitously"

I hope you liked the content. It was hard to read those words and even harder to accept feeling in that very situation, easy instead was to report it all to you according to my brief (but intense) experience.

A big thank you goes to all those I mentioned even just in passing, to all the people who have been close to me in this really tough period, and to the specialists who are looking after me.

And there are more surprises in #mashockable's backpack! #staytunedformore